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Spiderman 3.1
written mostly by my discord buddy I'm a big fan of the Sam Raimi Spider-Man trilogy, much like everyone else So one day I went into a really sketchy store to look for more spider shit I found a blank, white dvd case labeled "3.1" It looked pretty spidery to me so i bought it for $20 I put it in my dvd player when I got home and there was static then the movie played Instead of the classic opening, it had a montage of Spider-Man delivering pizzas to various skeletons I thought it was a glitch, so I kept watching i watched spiderman 3 and the hyperrealistic blood started flowing from my television i thought it was a glitch so i kept watching The film played normally up until the first New Goblin scene. When he showed up, James Franco fell off his board and Peter sucked his body when the peter dance scene started, peter dabbed and everyone turned into skeletons and started dancing the macarena i thought it was a glitch so i kept watching then peter started crying hyperrealistic pizza sauce and said "NOW DIG ON THIS" in a demonic voice then he blew up the daily bugle building with a pizza rocket he then did the fortnite default dance while saying "pizza time" it then cut to footage from 9/11 and i saw topher grace flying the planes and then i died because the pizza was poisoned I then came back to life. I was inside the movie. I saw a pile of dead children, and on top of them, was Mr. Aziz yelling at Peter for eating the pizzas Then Mr. Aziz pulled out a shotgun and shot Peter in the balls Peter regenerated his balls and ate Mr. Aziz's italian penis Peter then looked at me and whispered "Now dig on this" He bent me over and destroyed my ass with his sick dance moves He then T-posed and flew away to his apartment where he devoured the universe I thought this was a glitch so I kept watching He then put me back in my house But I found out that a pizza outbreak killed everyone in the real world I thought this was a glitch so I went to Wal-Mart When I entered Wal-Mart, James Franco came in with his Sky-Stick and blew off my balls He said "Strawberries" and flew away I went to the DVD section, where I saw a kid holding a Spider-Man 3 DVD I quickly ran to the child, and body slammed him with my pizza enforced abs The kid shattered into a million pieces Then I heard behind me "What the fuck are you doing" I turned around and I saw Sandman I threw him into the water and he died Then I stole every Spider-Man toy from the toy area When I got home, the FBI came in and beat me up Before I died, I saw a shadowy figure approach me He got near my face and said "Good riddance" It was Peter who was wearing Mary Jane's strip club outfit and a fez Peter then baked a pizza using poop from my toilet and forced it down my throat I died right next to my idol, Emo Parker I then became a skeleton is this the end or is it the end But then the Ghostbusters came in and broke my neck and I died The end